Today is April 1st. April Fools Day. I realize that today is customary for jokes... but can you say 'Partial REMISSION? My tumor markers are in normal range. Now we still have to get my CA 27/29 tests back and they send out for that in Northern California, but the last time it was checked it was 65. Closer to normal range. As of today no more Taxol and just a few more treatments of Herceptin and Zometa and now back my aromatase inhibitor by pill. I've been waiting to be able to go back on that for a while. We're keeping an eye on my neck now while I am no longer taking Taxol to make sure it doesn't get out of hand like it did last Thanksgiving. While sitting at my Doctor's desk looking at my CT Scan, he had the picture of my neck pulled up, and said "I don't know what that is, but it's not cancer." I said "I'll take what it's not over what it is any day!" The cancer that appeared in my bones is not present at this time, and what was there he is under the impression that it's directly from the Zometa, as it sometimes appears on Scans as just that. It did not alarm him, it's not going to alarm me. I am beating Stage IV Breast Cancer!! My God is BIG! BIG!! BIG!!!
Now what was it I said I wanted to do... well I've decided to create an 'Un-Bucket List'... a way of eliminating what I won't be able to do... for what ever reason, some WAY beyond my control. First on the list is get a ride on the back of a Cop's Harley. I've been in the back of a cop CAR, why not the back of a cop Harley? Never gonna happen. First, it's forbidden. They are not allowed to transport anybody... believe me, I asked! :D And he was cute too... he he he!! Second, the hogs are not equipped to ride a second passenger, they're one seaters. :( Out of my control, I can accept that!
Second... see the Eiffel Tower and the Mona Lisa. Now setting aside the minor bump in the road labeled cost, I could not get my CDL renewed because of all my marriages and divorces (4) and the fact that my documents that I do have (post 9-11) don't size up for the Department of Highway... you think they are seriously going to give me a passport? And getting the documents would involve going to four different states where the divorces where filed, by myself and my EX's. One of them being Alaska. That's a lot of driving... ~thinks~ wait... I have time... maybe I'll put this on the 'other' list...
There's another, that brought up the whole idea of the 'Un-Bucket List' and for the life of me, right now I cannot think of what it was... chemo brain wins this one! But have you now fear, I'll keep trying to remember, making my brain to recall what it was!
I was thinking the other night, I don't have my muse anymore. Not, I say, that I even knew what my muse was before, but it was clear that the last couple of days, there was evidence of one reappearing. Today I had no doubt, that my muse, which by the way, doesn't always have to be (or at least in my opinion) a human being. To me, a muse can be something like being in the process of beating cancer! Stage IV Cancer no less! If that's not a muse, I don't know what is. A muse is something that ignites you, enlightening you and provides the words that all fall into place! Riding down the pass today on the bus, it appeared to me like this was my first trip on the pass... everything looked refreshingly new and different. I saw a waterfall and practically jumped out of my seat (means that white stuff is melting up top!) Clearly, today, I was seeing the world in which I live through different colored glasses.
So... that being said... I've set a date. September 3rd. After I have participated in the Relay For Life here in Star Valley, (which now is sort of a closing ceremony for me) I am on the road. Kentucky bound, but stopping all along the way to stop and smell the roses... for I have all the time in the world!