I have been online now for about ten, twelve years, give or take. Dating sites, social network sites, blogging, you name it, I have been there. Along the way in my travels through the wonderful world wide web, I have met some pretty incredible people. Once was the time when our own individual social circle meant the geographical area in which one lived. Not any more, I am so glad to say. Once was the time when the information super highway meant a trip to the library. Not anymore.
I am a traveler. Always have been, always will be. Maybe you could say there's a little 'Gypsy' in me. Whether I am traveling across country or via web, I'm on the go. And along the way, some pretty special people have come into my life. At the time, one may not know or realize the impact one has on another person's life, what their friendship means to them.
I recently came in contact with friends I had made on a site I blogged on several years ago. I had been there for quite a while, and made quite a few friends. See, the thing is, I get bored easily. With living situations, with mates, with environment, right now my boredom is stemmed from being snowed in with 20' walls of snow around me. With the site I was blogging on, I simply got bored with it. With the site and blogging, not with the friends I had made there. However, when I closed off my profile there, I in turn, closed out the friends I had made.
So I ask, what is a friend? Looking at all the definitions and the Wikipedia there are pages and pages of what a 'friend' is. To me, it's someone who knows me, knows my quirks, good points and bad, yet still accepts me as who I am. So what does that have to do with my blog and my journey now you may ask? (Or you may not, you may be one of my friends reading this and knows exactly where I am going with this...)
Lately I have been struggling. With just about everything. My will, my willpower, my intentions... my journey itself. I felt as if I were getting lost in the emptiness that surrounds me. Lost in the definition of what lies ahead for me. I mean really, how does one handle sitting outside death's door? Yes, a certain degree of faith is involved. But I'm talking deeper than that... the 'knowing'. Or not knowing, but knowing it's just around the corner if you will... I'm getting lost right now trying to put it into words. It's not easy to convey.
But recently, in the last few weeks, I have been one by one, been reestablishing contact with some of my friends from this site I was on, and it's giving me new hope, no, not hope, courage. Yes, that's it...courage. When something as devastating as cancer comes along, and takes away one's vision, it takes a friend to bring it back. For that, I thank my friends who daily and constantly encourage me to fight this fight!